Long Distance Relationship

How to Save Your Long Distance Relationship

Amongst the lovey-dovey relationship goals, the long-distance ones are perhaps the most sought after, presently- owing to the highly career driven lifestyle. When everything falls into the right place with the perfectly imperfect person, little do we consider the toll that distance can take on this ‘oh-so-perfect’ relationship! Though it is not the dreamy sequence of your relationship, yet, for some it brings out the strongest bonds while for the rest it’s the rock bottom. Before you term it as the die cast by destiny, or ‘just wasn’t meant to be,’ let us just give it one more try, and not give up all at once. Here’s a short list of relationship goals as well as keys to make it work with your loved one, even staying miles apart.




Expectations are to be clearly stated

Romantic duos have a real rough patch dealing with the expectations of each other. It is still alright and communicable for those staying in the same city, as they can sort it out some or the other way when they meet. In case of long distance relationships, where meeting in person is a once-in-a-while condition, setting the ground rules for a relationship is of prior importance. Each of you needs to clearly know what the other expects. Do make it a point to list commitment at the top of your priorities, as this can be the only way to reassure your partner that it is always meant to be.

Less is more

happy couple

As far as communication is concerned, do remember that less is more for a long-distance relationship. Calling up every now and then may not always be the gesture that you miss your loved one, instead, it can turn out to be over-imposing your partner with possessiveness. You got to be creative while you talk, otherwise after a long day at work, your partner might not feel like only answering a queue of ‘How’s’ and ‘Why’s’. Yet again, don’t keep it as a loose end, where one feels neglected or taken for granted. It has not to be long phone calls every time, try recording a short video or audio clip saying about your new place or simply that you miss her. Greeting each other at the mornings and nights are never counted as cliché or sticky and a love-struck gesture instead.

Talk it out

Be it the socializing plans at the new city, or be it the much deprived of sexual feelings of yours- try to talk it off always. It is much obvious that you would have plans of partying and short trips with the new people. Do make sure, you let your partner know about your late-night or trip plans when they are decided. It is really important to not make your partners feel left out, when you are not in the same city or country with them. Even the sex talks are necessary. It is not about getting dirty over phone or texts; sexual attention can keep you both glued to each other at the toughest of situations. It also rekindles the spark and unexpectedly brings the partners closer enough fulfilling their emotional desires.

Try to share your ‘we times’ rather ‘me times’

A key way of staying tuned on the same page is by sharing your leisure hours. It is never the distance that really matters; it is about going an extra mile to make it work. As you may keep busy all day long, for the entire week, not being able to give that attention to your partner, so you need to work it out at the leisure hours. Playing the same game online or watching the same sitcoms or songs in YouTube at the same time washes away the imprints of long-distance.




Other than these few tips, there can be numerous personalized ways to stay glued even when miles apart. Making up plans to visit each other and saving for that is also a way to stay connected rather glued with desires in a long-distance relationship. They say, ‘real gold is not afraid of the test of fire,’ and that it is not always distance behind every break-up on this planet. So, don’t give up on your ‘us’ and work your ‘me’ when you tend to lose hope on your once-perfect part of the world.

 

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Entertainment, Film, Friendship

10 Best Movies to Watch on This Friendship Day

Friendship Day is around the corner with only a few days left! Yes, the countdown has begun with friends gearing up for a day of fun, bonding and getting together. Every year friendship day is celebrated on the first of Sunday in August. This year it falls on the 5th of August.

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasure, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed,” says Khalil Gibran, Lebanese American poet and philosopher.




Friendship day is a little reminder to celebrate this unique bond between people. Set out a day to meet friends, spend quality time with them, do fun activities, reminisce good times and laugh away.

Cozying up with your friends for a movie session is a great idea for a get-together. Cinema has portrayed friendship beautifully, with the characters imprinted in your mind for many years to come. Watching such movies with friends is like therapy and gives you a warm feeling.

Here is a list of movies based on friendship from which you can choose from:

Movies for Bollywood fans:

  1. Sholay

Sholay

A cult movie of the 1970s, Sholay is indisputably one of the most reckonable movies regarding friendship. The screen names of protagonists, Jai and Veeru, are often used as examples to describe the friendship between two people.

  1. Yaarana

Yaarana

One of the favourites, Yaarana is a story about two childhood friends, one rich another poor, separated by a wicked uncle, and later in life, they reunite and help each other. The most trending and super hit song on friendship, “Yaara teri yaari ko, meine toh khuda maana” is from this film.

  1. Dil Chahta Hai

An iconic movie released in 2001, this movie inspired us to reconnect with old friends. A movie about three best buddies, Akash, Siddharth and Sameer, all of us have at least one character from that movie in our group of friends.

  1. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

College friendship between Anjali and Rahul which finally blossoms into love and the unforgettable basketball court made this movie a blockbuster. This film was the reason for celebrating Friendship Day that became a trend and Friendship Bands hit the markets and sold like hot cakes!

  1. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

5. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

“Sieze the day my friend, pehle is din ko poori tarah jiyo, phir chalis ke bare mein sochna,” one of the dialogues from this amazing movie tells about living life to the fullest. This movie inspired many youngsters to set new friendship goals and go on road trips.

  1. 3 Idiots

Based on Chetan Bhagat’s novel, there’s hardly anyone who hasn’t seen this superb movie about friendship, college, camaraderie and supporting each other.

Here is a list of English movies compiled for Hollywood movie buffs:

  1. Stand by Me

Stand by Me

This 1986 movie based on Stephen King’s book is about the adventures of a group of boys, who are on a cross-country hike. The dialogue, “I never had a friend later on like the ones I had when I was 12” is a testimony to childhood friendships.

  1. Cinema Paradiso

Cinema Paradiso

This 1998 movie talks about the friendship between two different generations where a mischievous kid befriends a cinema projectionist.

  1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Released in 2012, the story is about two seniors, who befriend an introvert freshman.




  1. Napolean Dynamite

Napolean Dynamite

Released in 2004 movie, this is about social outcast Napolean Dynamite who takes a fancy to the moustache of new Mexican student and helps him win Presidency campaign in class.

Choose any one of these movies and plug on the TV, have bowls of popcorn ready, put up your feet, and there you go! An amazing way to celebrate friendship!

[Images Credit: inuth.com, saavn, indiatoday, india.com, huffingtonpost.in, Variety, University Concert Hall, New York Times, & mentalfloss.com]

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Fatherhood, Relationships

My Daddy Strongest! – Yes, it’s that time of the year again, for reminding your father how special he has always been!

Be it a broken toy, be it the last-minute completion of school assignments, be it making a tough choice or be it the bumpy landing for making any choice – there’s a subtle belief down the line of having a backup person, who can fix it just when we are about to give up- we call this subtle belief ‘father.’

Well, you may kiss your mom every morning before leaving for work or just tell her over the phone that you love her a lot and miss her, but for your ‘daddy strongest,’ mostly it’s not the same. Some shy away while others just don’t find the right way to convey the simple ‘love you dad and miss you a lot.’ Thanks to social networks that have made it pretty convenient for those who shy away, as with their posts their feelings for their dads do get expressed without having to face the moment of confession in real. Yes, you gotcha; yet again it is that time of the year when social networks will be flooded with customary ‘Fathers’ Day’ updates. This time let’s make it a little more special for our fathers, who know that we love them a lot and no matter what are always ready to extend their help and guidance for us.

Fathers Day

Here are some of the best father’s day messages that are cut-out for your personalized wishes for your ‘daddy strongest’.

– “Looking back all I can say about all the things you did for me is I hope I’m at least half the dad that you have been for me.” –  Brad Paisley

– “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then; it’s a love without end.” – George Straight

– “On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and the weight of her world.” – John Mayer

– “When you didn’t have my hand, you had my back” – Linda Poindexter

– “A father is the one friend upon whom we can always rely.” – Emile Gaboriau

– “He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector.” – Tom Wolfe

– “I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by the little scraps of wisdom.” – Umberto Eco

– “A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.” – Unknown

– “It’s only when you grow up and step back from him—or leave him for your own home—it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it.” – Margaret Truman

– “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: He believed in me.” – Jim Valvano

So, while you pick up the best gift and design the best greeting card, do make it count for your dad with a beautiful message that sums up all the love and wishes you want to convey.

[Quotes Credit: countryliving.com & Images Credit: hengistrestaurant.co.uk & 4fathersday.com]

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Relationships

How to enjoy this valentine’s day with your single relationship status?

Single in this season of love and don’t know how to celebrate this valentine’s day with your single relationship status? No Bae to spoil and have fun with this Valentine’s day? Who said that the singles could not have memorable Valentine’s day – after all, loving must begin from oneself before it can go to other people, right?




Here are some fun ways to make your Valentine’s day fun, happy and lovely:

  1. Singles Party!!! You are not the only one who is single on Valentine’s day and these parties are not the only terrific way to spend this love-filled day but also a mushy opportunity to meet other potential baes. And what’s a better way to spend the day than with your other single friends who you cant really hang with when in a relationship.singles party
  2. Do something adventurous! Like get a tattoo or go parasailing or take a hot air balloon ride. Spend time with yourself indulging in an activity you always thought you needed company for, and see how your body and mind are enough for you, even when the adrenaline is running high. Earn the experience of being on your own even when you think you need someone to hold hands with or share the feeling.
  3. Have a paintball or lasertag session with your single friends. These games are jubilant bonding activities, and there is just not enough time in routine life. If you are a more indoorsy person, have the singles over for rounds of Uno or some board games and compliment with food and drink. If none of your friends is single, go for these things anyway, because sometimes its fun playing with total strangers!
  4. Watch a movie – at home or cinema halls, scary or romantic, alone or with a group of other singles. Do a movie marathon and tick off all the pending movies you have wanted to watch all this time but could not.
  5. Do some volunteering! Not everyone has someone to love them and might need your help in feeling better – yes, we are talking about the under-privileged people and animals who might benefit from your benevolence and smiles on Valentine’s day. Go volunteer at an animal shelter or orphanage or old age homes and bring some love into a few lives.
  6. Go for wellness treatments. Not feeling too good being single? Missing someone long lost? Don’t let the blues ruin your mood but, instead take massage and spa you have been longing for quite some time. Let your body and soul feel nourished and happy. You can also plan a long run, an intense gym session or more extended Yoga and meditation to feel energised and powered. Post workout or the wellness treatment, go for a leisurely meal and enjoy the high exercise has given you.
  7. Help the couple! We all have friends who unlike us are in a relationship but have kids and don’t get enough time for one another. Help those needy couples and babysit their children for a couple of hours and put smiles and stars back into their eyes. Be a loving friend and give the couple time out!

This Valentine’s day, have more fun being single!

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Impress a Girl, Relationships, Understanding Women

How to impress a girl? Here are 5 essential tips

Drooling over that girl at your workplace or don’t know how to impress a girl? Or every time she looks at you, your thoughts go upside-down? Guys, guys, guys! If looking was to fetch the water, then the crow would never have gone for the pebbles meticulously. If you want to book her for life, or even for a date, you need to go beyond just drooling and make the first move. While asking her out on a date, you need to keep it optimally romantic as guys always run the risk of either being categorized as a ‘cheapo’ or brutally friend-zoned. Here’s a guide that suggests, not to take-the-pains of delivering the cliché poetic lines and sweep her off her feet with your drop-dead attitude instead.   

Yes, light does travel faster than sound! 

As the scientific theory says, light does travel faster than sound, and so does your looks. In order to impress a girl, who is not in your friends’ circle, you have to look your simple best every time you exchange glances with her. Nope, we don’t refer to the hazelnut eye-colour or the Greek’s sculpted faces. No matter how handsome you are, all of it goes futile when you are not properly groomed. An extremely eye-catching hair style and a well-shaven look atop the list in this case. And yes, do remember to smell well. Also, the well-trimmed beard is too ‘in’ these days. When coordinated with your hairstyle, girls go gaga over those with beards. 



Your etiquettes define your personality  

Pulling up a chair for her or the little gestures of respect for the elderly people and especially other women take you to the top in her good books. To a girl, you are considerably well reared up, if and only if you respect women, of course, you got to bring it to her notice. Nope, a show off doesn’t always do it for you, as far as smart girls are concerned. Try to be polite in your gestures and express your high-regard for women while you talk. Don’t miss out on the table etiquettes on your team lunches with her either for a small dose of sophistication. Be your simple self as guys who are more into show-off, seldom gets the wise nod in the long run. 

Keep it simple yet witty  

Girls are not into your heroic cool quotient these days. It is all about your sense of humour for the classy and smart girls. Your girl will be all in for you if she finds you witty enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yet again, you need to be careful with your ways and gestures because they laugh the hardest with their best friends. So, do not opt for the all-time joke-box to prevent the friend zone. The idea is to keep her occupied much interestingly with your witty one-liners and not make her laugh all the time you talk.  

A good vocabulary 

No matter what, to impress the independent and successful women, a sharp vocabulary played well with an ought-to-be correct grammar does get you the ultimate nod. Yet again, you just need not overdo it with fancy words every time, the key lies in keeping it adequate. 

Spoil her with loyalty 

Once you earn her attention, her trust is the next in queue. As most of the contemporary ladies are quite well-sufficient for themselves, diamonds and other expensive gifts of the sort are not enough to please them every time. You need to spoil her with loyalty instead of luxuries, as she can finance herself. And once you earn her trust, you can take it as more than half-way done.  

couple

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, get your girl at the earliest and book her for a lifetime with these essential tips. 

 

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Long Distance Relationship

‘Thanks for not giving up on us!

Amongst the lovey-dovey relationship goals, the long-distance ones are perhaps the most sought after, presently- owing to the highly career driven lifestyle. When everything falls into the right place with the perfectly imperfect person, little do we consider the toll that distance can take on this ‘oh-so-perfect’ relationship! Though it is not the dreamy sequence of your relationship, yet, for some it brings out the strongest bonds while for the rest it’s the rock bottom. Before you term it as the die cast by destiny, or ‘just wasn’t meant to be,’ let us just give it one more try, and not give up all at once. Here’s a short list of relationship goals as well as keys to make it work with your loved one, even staying miles apart.






Expectations are to be clearly stated 

Romantic duos have a real rough patch dealing with the expectations of each other. It is still alright and communicable for those staying in the same city, as they can sort it out some or the other way when they meet. In case of long distance relationships, where meeting in person is a once-in-a-while condition, setting the ground rules for relationship is of prior importance. Each of you needs to clearly know what the other expects. Do make it a point to list commitment at the top of your priorities, as this can be the only way to reassure your partner that it is always meant to be. 

Less is more  

As far as communication is concerned, do remember that less is more for a long-distance relationship. Calling up every now and then may not always be the gesture that you miss your loved one, instead it can turn out to be over-imposing your partner with possessiveness. You got to be creative while you talk, otherwise after a long day at work, your partner might not feel like only answering a queue of ‘How’s’ and ‘Why’s’. Yet again, don’t keep it as a loose end, where one feels neglected or taken for granted. It has not to be long phone calls every time, try recording a short video or audio clip saying about your new place or simply that you miss her. Greeting each other at the mornings and nights are never counted as cliché or sticky and a love-struck gesture instead. 

Talk it out 




Be it the socializing plans at the new city, or be it the much deprived of sexual feelings of yours- try to talk it off always. It is much obvious that you would have plans of partying and short trips with the new people. Do make sure, you let your partner know about your late-night or trip plans when they are decided. It is really important to not make your partners feel left out, when you are not in the same city or country with them. Even the sex talks are necessary. It is not about getting dirty over phone or texts; sexual attention can keep you both glued to each other at the toughest of situations. It also rekindles the spark and unexpectedly brings the partners closer enough fulfilling their emotional desires. 

Try to share your ‘we times’ rather ‘me times’ 

A key way of staying tuned on the same page is by sharing your leisure hours. It is never the distance that really matters; it is about going an extra mile to make it work. As you may keep busy all day long, for the entire week, not being able to give that attention to your partner, so you need to work it out at the leisure hours. Playing the same game online or watching the same sitcoms or songs in YouTube at the same time washes away the imprints of long-distance.  

Other than these few tips, there can be numerous personalized ways to stay glued even when miles apart. Making up plans to visit each other and saving for that is also a way to stay connected rather glued with desires in long-distance relationship. They say, ‘real gold is not afraid of the test of fire,’ and that it is not always distance behind every break-up on this planet. So, don’t give up on your ‘us’ and work your ‘me’ when you tend to lose hope on your once-perfect part of world. 

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Relationship Problems, Relationships

Happily Ever After: But not the stereotype one!

To hold on one last time or to get over it- the one conflict that every heart and brain has met with, and yes definitely for more than once. It is easy to fall for someone, it is easy to start loving someone but, staying in love with that someone is not so easy always. The cliché vows are easier made than kept. It is not always about who is at fault because at times none is at fault- it might be the fast-paced lifestyles that take a toll on our relationships.

 

Ambitions are not to be given up on but your egos are. A normal human psyche always lingers on the things that are likely to be lost while accepting your loss, regardless of who is at fault, seldom comes with spontaneity. The incurable longing to try one last time needs to be dealt with a mature approach- though it is not always about giving up on your loved ones yet we cannot shut our eyes to what a situation demands.

Love…really?

The ‘one-love’ concept has somehow remained confined to the translucent pages of novels while the layers of human psyche have always recovered breeches in it. There is always a different reaction observed to a breech in relationships from different age groups. Though mostly it seems to be the same ‘butterflies in my stomach’ feeling when you fall for someone yet you would discover a different ‘you’ through the same phases of every other relationship. Behind the vague sketch of ‘love’ it is actually the comfort zone shared by two people for a time being which seem to be eternal.

Even though ‘life is short’ and ‘live in the moments’ things do keep rolling in our minds. Of course, the initial circumstances are not there to stay, and at times all you need to do is just let go and take a step back and sleep it over. Whether you were not good enough or how you could mend it up are not as worth your while as knowing that you are more special than ‘love’.

man-couple-people-woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can always drop one more text or call another time but in all these, losing yourself the ‘you’ whom your partner had fallen for is what needs to be checked upon. It is important to understand that while breaking all the stereotypes you need to be your own ‘happily ever-after’ first and then someone else’s.

Post break-up mood swings

Once the trouble-shooting phase between mind and matter is done with, things can either get too slowed down or you end up in a happening social life. Regardless of the fact that your brain always is the first one when it comes to acceptance, the hurt and vulnerable ego in you can never let it go all at once and ends up in depression. At times, it all seems to be so good and free while at times even a little thing can be enraging enough. Chocolates and shopping or drowning in the ‘beer-pitchers’ can cover it up for you only for a little while.

pexels-photo-296879

The realistic approach to deal with break-ups calls for prioritizing your individuality at the top of your list. Getting into a happening enough social life so as to keep the cloud of thoughts from dwelling into your mind can be helpful but only for the time being. Sit back and just let it be. You do not always need the dramatic solitary confinement in the best of nature’s lap instead a view of the horizons from your terrace or even a view of the innumerable vehicles lined up on the all-lit highway or your favourite couch in your living room can do it for you. Mould yourself with the feeling that you cannot change anything else but you. Be yourself and grow every moment with acceptance.
Vulnerable, sad, irritated-whatever it is…it is always wiser to face it all and grow content with your individuality. Though heartbreaks are not easy to deal with yet living for yourself with all that love indulging you is definitely worth your while!

 

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Marriage, Relationships

Taking the First Step towards Being a Great Husband

No matter how wild your hormones run in your adolescence, there will be times when you will need to keep them under check and prove that you are good husband, and matured enough to handle the responsibilities that are being entrusted to you. And it’s not just in matters of profession and finance that you need to prove your worth; you need to be a capable person even in personal relationship.

An ideal husband would never sacrifice one aspect of his life in pursuit of another, and remain deprived of one type of honour always. For example, let’s take a man whose only passion in life is taking care of his family, especially his children. For this reason, he doesn’t work as efficiently as he must, he takes off work more often than liked, and he has no ambition to grow professionally which leaves him stuck at the same designation for a decade.

On the other hand, we have a man who is intent on making it big in the world of business, and he neglects his parents and loved ones, including his friends who had helped him get where he is currently, on a large scale. He never has time to go on dates with his partner, and he has forgotten to wish his parents for the past five years on their birthdays and anniversaries.

In both the above examples, there is someone being hurt or ignored for no fault of theirs. It is easy enough to be inspired to do the wrong things in life, take short cuts that are beneficial to us but do us harm in the long run. If you have the willingness and eagerness to become a gentleman but aren’t sure how to go about initiating the process, then here are some helpful tips for you:

  1. Look Around – Focusing just on yourself and your problems in life tends to suck out the goodness and positivity in you. There are few people who are born with absolutely zero moral indicators within them. Such people are unfortunately gentlemen only when it suits them. They cannot be considered as role models. They are instead wolves who wear the cloak of gentlemanliness to meet their goals. Such people should definitely not be your source of inspiration.

 

Instead, look around and find people who have all the values that have been mentioned (and will be discussed a little later in the book). Make them your role models and make them a part of your daily lives. And don’t forget to look around you in an observant, intelligent manner. Remember, there are two types of intelligence. One is intellectual intelligence that makes you learned, an expert in matters you educate yourself about. But emotional intelligence is equally important, sometimes even more!

 

A true gentleman will possess both forms of intelligence and put them to good use. And you know what happens when you are observant of your surroundings? You become more emotionally intelligent. You don’t miss out on opportunities to display honour, courtesy, bravery, and conscientiousness.

 

  1. De-Stress – Men, women, and even children react in totally unexpected manners when they are under a lot of stress and for a long period of time. Stress does no one any good – you make yourself miserable and also influence those around you in a negative manner. There is an important question you need to ask yourself at the end of a day you considered was a bad one – was it a bad day, or did you milk a bad 5 minutes the whole day to make it so? See – there is a lot of difference in these two concepts, isn’t there?

 

A person willing to inculcate the traits necessary to be a good gentleman will learn how to tame his mind and bad responses. Instead, he will focus on productive duties, and attaining tranquillity of mind so he can be a better person at all times. De-stressing methods such as meditation, going for walks and jogs, engaging in productive hobbies, taking vacations with loved ones, eating healthy, and sleeping for the required number of hours goes a long way in helping you become a good husband.

 

  1. Believe in Yourself – A man who doesn’t cherish himself is setting the path up which evil thoughts, people, and forces can easily walk up and captivate his mind. If you don’t have faith in yourself and your abilities, if you don’t believe in the goodness of being a gentleman, then you wouldn’t put in the efforts you must in order to achieve your goal. If you think that you are better off the way you are now and that there is no requirement or scope for improvement, then you will never look at the bigger picture of being a good father and husband.

 

  1. Value Others – When do you want to be a good person? There are two reasons why one usually does a selfless deed. First, when a person is happy when they see others happy, and they do what makes others happy. Two – When they respect and love them enough to know that they are in need of something, even if it is something as simple as a hug or just some companionship. You get a reason to improve yourself when you start respecting other people, animals, and even inanimate objects for what they are worth.

 

If there is a person who is deceitful and poses to be in need of help, you need to be smart enough to learn to refuse them in a polite manner. But if there is a person who genuinely needs some help from you, and you can offer it, then you must consider them important enough to take the initiative to offer help.

 

  1. Read Up – The internet is available for low prices in almost every part of the world. There are innumerable books that talk about how a gentleman was praised for his traits. Invest some money in sources which teach you how to be a genuine gentleman, and start following the steps given in them gradually. See if they are having a positive effect on you and those around you, and continue with the ones that have a positive impact.

 

  1. Opportunities – Do remember that certain things may work favourably to some people and only at certain places, but not at all times and for everyone. So be careful how you out to use the techniques you learn about being a gentleman.

 

Let’s understand this with a simple example. Let’s say your religion requires you to wear a piece of cloth on you at all times, say in the form of a hat or a turban or a shawl. Now, when you visit a holy shrine, you will be looked upon favourably if you wear this article of clothing. Do remember that just wearing outwardly symbols of religion doesn’t make you a religious person; practicing the teachings for the betterment of humans is true devotion to religion! But that’s a different matter altogether.

 

Coming back to our example – be an honourable man by behaving and attiring yourself in an appropriate manner. But if you come across a person who is in need of you some cloth, say a person who has met with an accident and needs something to control the bleeding, then don’t hesitate to be courteous offer your religious piece of cloth. Even God would love it if you prove to be a good man in such instances! Such habits would help you make the right choices at home too, when you have to make yourself a little stern and sometimes make a decision that not everyone at home likes, but which is necessary for the good of the family.

 

  1. Your Companions – Finally, let’s talk about the people you associate yourself with. Men who only believe in moaning about the wrong in their lives without talking about constructive things that can be done to improve them are prime examples of people you should avoid. Not only do they do themselves any favour, they in all likelihood will make depress you, hold you back, or discourage you from becoming a gentleman. Those who are positive and men who are gentlemen themselves will be able to guide you, and correct you when you are wrong. Make sure you spend more time in such people’s company without being rude to other people, even if they are not good natured.

 

  1. Share Responsibilities – There is a very incorrect notion that’s settled in the minds of most people – the onus of binding together and taking care of the family lies solely with the females of the family. The men just need to earn enough money for the household, and that’s where his responsibilities towards the family come to an end.

 

In this modern age, when most women are also now engaged in professional activities, a man must learn to shoulder his share of household activities to be a loving and understanding husband. Pitch in with the dishes or clothes’ washing once in a while, offer to take care of your children or elderly relatives at home while your wife takes some time off and meets her friends or goes out for a party. Help your wife with some grocery shopping once in a while; who knows – you may use that as an opportunity to pick up some bottles of wine or beer to help your wife and you unwind after a hectic and re-kindly your romance! Be an empathetic father to your children and don’t just make their upbringing your wife’s responsibility.

The starting point of becoming a good husband lies within your mind, but there are external factors too that can help you on your journey. You must cultivate the wit and willingness to choose from such options rather than succumbing to the weak and negative options. Your mind and your body will work together in starting this task and see through it till the end! And once you become a good husband, you will continue to be one for the rest of your life. We all know that once we learn cycling, we never forget it. True – we may get a bit rusty and fall off cycles if we ride them after a gap of say 5-7 years. But we will never forget the art of cycling completely ever.

Being a good husband is similar to cycling in this aspect – you never stop being one, and people can recognize this from miles afar. Plus, it becomes a force of habit rather than you forcing yourself to do it. Just get started, enjoy the journey, and you will never forget to be one. The benefit is that not only are you a popular guy at home, you’ll be the source of envy to many other male friends of yours because they’d all wish to have a happy family like yours! Your wife would be adorably in love with you, and you would enjoy having your family’s love and support around you at all times like a warm cocoon!

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Relationship Problems

The Psyche of Getting Together

What another human can make you do and feel!

“There there – get over him already, he’s not interested anymore, and it’s been three weeks!” – exclaimed the friend.
But she was just not ready to accept. He had made her feel so loved! So secure! Maybe it was all a misunderstanding after all. He was the one! There could be no one like him.

We all crave for relationships, which are real and make us feel happy, and when we have them, we want them to last forever and ever. This is when we are not sure what’s going to happen the next moment. Such hypocrisy!

Mind games
Our subconscious leads our way into and out of love. There is a set criterion in our heads, which is a result of past experiences, successes, and failures with people. Our mind creates an image of what type of a mate we are looking for, and the funny part is, we are mostly unaware of this image. Why we pick someone from the crowd or why our eye is appealed by a certain “type” is because maybe we need someone of that kind to balance out our own insufficiency – maybe I’m not bold enough, so my subconscious pulls me closer to someone who is. Nature balances out everyone.

Once we have that kind of person attracted to us, the influences of him or her start to affect us deeply. Their rights and their wrongs become a part of our own value system. The mind is the first one to get influenced – thoughts begin to imitate our partner’s, this is a way of the subconscious to become better adjusted to the person and finding favor with them so that they don’t go away. Mirroring their actions which are their good parts, the mind drives us to do the same, and it all settles down in subconsciously influencing the counterpart.

Your wish is my command
Basically, you are doing what they would perhaps like – this comes as subconscious signals as well as from clues they drop in conversation, knowingly or unknowingly. The mind recipient of all these signals is in overdrive of emotion, fuelled by hormones and the body acts accordingly. There is a gratification of some kind in the horizon, and this makes the urge to please the other stronger.

Love is a drug – literally
Studies show that the brain behaves in love, exactly like it behaves when the person is addicted to drugs. They say the passion of feeling nice around the loved one, i.e. the high one gets from being with a loved one can be even more powerful than the urge to have sex. This is at its peak until the loved one is still afar – the pursuer has not yet achieved the loved one or had a commitment from them. The moment this happens, the brain signals the body to relax a bit, meaning, the passionate love fades, but there is a growing sense of security, bonding, and comfort of friendship. This has been concluded by looking at MRI scans and brain behavior patterns of many men and women who claimed to be intensely in love with their partner since a range of ten to twenty years.

Men are from Mars; women are from Venus
Here, a demarcation may be made in the way a man’s mind behaves from a woman’s. Men are more logical when it comes to love. They better understand their emotions and the cues the mind provides them with in order to get the woman they desire to love them back or respond in some way. They work in direct terms and like a good challenge. They are extremely responsive to negative reactions, and even if the woman would not even feel a thing, they might shut off to her as the brain quickly senses the lack of positive energy in the woman. Women, on the other hand, are highly dependent on the world’s most powerful game changer – the hormone Estrogen. She is extremely sensitive but prefers to leave it for the man to decide the course of the relationship. A woman is also non-confrontational by nature, as she subconsciously fears breakdown, violence and any form of adrenalin reaction going berserk. This is the way her mind is constructed.

Love is but a puzzle, a game of the mind

All that said, the human mind is a miracle, and love is a feeling so complex, it can take forever to deduce why people behave in a certain way when they are in love.

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Impress a Girl

I (don’t think I’m ready to say) do

What Commitment issues in the love of today hold for tomorrow

Those were the days! People saw each other; the cupid struck its arrow right in time, and they fell in love. When they fell in love, nothing seemed to matter – the age, whether people would approve of their love or not, education, money, jobs – nothing. The only thing mattered to those two people in love was the fact that they were in love. A natural progression towards taking that love to the next possible high was getting committed to each other in some way – engagement, marriage even. Everything possible for a “happily ever after” was woven right into the fabric; and surprisingly so, it did fall into place!

But, a few years back, things were not so rosy anymore. Doubts and suspicion and cynicism of it all crept in. And now as we see and feel all around us, men and women are so scared to consider even falling in love. Even if that happens, there is no scope for a commitment – as they say, putting a ring on to it. Other things are more important than wasting time in the hassles of love or the concept of togetherness. Fear of commitment has turned out to be a most prominent emotional issue of our times.

This comes as a shock as first – humans are social animals; they need stimulation only another human can provide, on a physical and mental – emotional level. The issue at hand is, stimulation is welcome, but the compromises that come along with it are not.

A very modern term for a special class of people (who are quite abundant these days) is called “adultscent” – an adolescent adult, the one who wants all the perks of being an adult like qualm – free sex and the power to earn one’s own money but refrains from the responsibilities of being one – like family and kids.

How many 30 something’s, both men and women we see these days, who are unmarried, childless and still living like 20 something’s? Most even don’t have their own houses, they still live with their parents or have a rental accommodation. They are simply too busy living life like a free bird and too petrified of a lifestyle where they would be bound to someone for good and worse, that someone would be dependent on them for sustenance (spouse or a baby)! Who has time for that kind of shit, when life gives you more options for everything, as compared to the options the previous generation had?

This increase in one’s choices has led to questioning the entire institution of marriage. When there can be so many, why settle with one? Especially, the tolerance for the other person’s flaws and handicaps has gone down considerably, making it extra hard to adjust and attune oneself to the other person. It might not be a bad way to live, but one can ponder on the question, “will this be the same forever?”

When one has a partner bound to them by trust and loyalty, there is someone to grow old with. The body will give in to late nights and alcohol overdose one day or the other – you cannot party as much forever or can you work the same amount right into your old age. And,at that moment, will you not need someone, who knows you inside out and supports you while you struggle with your glasses or your denture?

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