What Commitment issues in the love of today hold for tomorrow
Those were the days! People saw each other; the cupid struck its arrow right in time, and they fell in love. When they fell in love, nothing seemed to matter – the age, whether people would approve of their love or not, education, money, jobs – nothing. The only thing mattered to those two people in love was the fact that they were in love. A natural progression towards taking that love to the next possible high was getting committed to each other in some way – engagement, marriage even. Everything possible for a “happily ever after” was woven right into the fabric; and surprisingly so, it did fall into place!
But, a few years back, things were not so rosy anymore. Doubts and suspicion and cynicism of it all crept in. And now as we see and feel all around us, men and women are so scared to consider even falling in love. Even if that happens, there is no scope for a commitment – as they say, putting a ring on to it. Other things are more important than wasting time in the hassles of love or the concept of togetherness. Fear of commitment has turned out to be a most prominent emotional issue of our times.
This comes as a shock as first – humans are social animals; they need stimulation only another human can provide, on a physical and mental – emotional level. The issue at hand is, stimulation is welcome, but the compromises that come along with it are not.
A very modern term for a special class of people (who are quite abundant these days) is called “adultscent” – an adolescent adult, the one who wants all the perks of being an adult like qualm – free sex and the power to earn one’s own money but refrains from the responsibilities of being one – like family and kids.
How many 30 something’s, both men and women we see these days, who are unmarried, childless and still living like 20 something’s? Most even don’t have their own houses, they still live with their parents or have a rental accommodation. They are simply too busy living life like a free bird and too petrified of a lifestyle where they would be bound to someone for good and worse, that someone would be dependent on them for sustenance (spouse or a baby)! Who has time for that kind of shit, when life gives you more options for everything, as compared to the options the previous generation had?
This increase in one’s choices has led to questioning the entire institution of marriage. When there can be so many, why settle with one? Especially, the tolerance for the other person’s flaws and handicaps has gone down considerably, making it extra hard to adjust and attune oneself to the other person. It might not be a bad way to live, but one can ponder on the question, “will this be the same forever?”
When one has a partner bound to them by trust and loyalty, there is someone to grow old with. The body will give in to late nights and alcohol overdose one day or the other – you cannot party as much forever or can you work the same amount right into your old age. And,at that moment, will you not need someone, who knows you inside out and supports you while you struggle with your glasses or your denture?